It has taken me A LONG time to love my body. And I don’t mean flaunt my body. I mean really LOVE what it has done for me these past 46 years. I was fairly active in my teens and 20’s, but lived much of this life wishing for different legs, bigger boobs, etc. I compared myself a lot to celebrities and although I did in-home workouts or went to the gym a few times a week, I was not eating properly – I was barely eating – thinking THAT was the way to maintain my weight. I had a wake-up call at 33 after the birth of my first child when I suffered postpartum depression and was immediately put on antidepressants. At that time, “medicating” was the thing to do. Fast-forward ten years and three children later, and I was STILL on antidepressants and still struggling to have the energy necessary to care for my kids. My husband was constantly telling me that my “spark” was gone. I was well aware that my spark was gone, but not sure how to get it back. When you’re dealing with fatigue and depression, everything is pretty hazy and even the smallest task seems insurmountable. My husband basically dragged me to a specialist where I was diagnosed with hypothyroid disease and put on a natural dessicated thyroid hormone prescription. Within TWO weeks, I was weaning myself off my antidepressant and walking and doing yoga. Life was not perfect, but I had the tools to deal and started putting my health toward the top of my priority list. It felt liberating!
When I was fatigued, I really HATED MY BODY. I hated how it seemed to be fighting against me and what I wanted for my life. Countless days of feeling trapped in my own skin. A loop of negative self-talk I couldn’t seem to quiet. “I am a good person. I am still young. Why is my body doing this to me?” I said some really horrible things to my body. I looked at my reflection and grimaced at the cellulite, cursed under my breath. Then I remembered – My parents think I’m pretty special. My husband thinks I’m crazy whenever I discount myself. Why am I choosing to compare myself to others – especially airbrushed models in magazines designed to make me feel like I’m less of a person unless I buy what they are selling? I look at how perfect my children are to me and pray they never speak to themselves the way I have to myself.
After a year of just walking and healing my adrenals with less caffeine and sugar and saying “no” to the things that didn’t serve me, I was able to start doing heavier workouts. I got myself a virtual fit coach, committed to daily 30-minute in-home workouts, clean eating, and portion control. After 3 months, I lost about 15 pounds, and I have maintained this for over two years. I was never “in it’ to lose weight, but I LOVED seeing muscle tone and feeling strong! Plus, my energy and self-confidence was improving. It became a lifestyle. There was no going back to my former life! That’s when I decided to become a coach to help others on the same path!
It has taken TIME and lots of trial and error, and no day is perfect, but I have three beautiful babies to show for the loose skin on my tummy; I can still take the stairs with my big thighs; I can haul TEN BAGS of groceries from the truck to the house in one trip (because I have a weird competition with myself)!!! I don’t have to take any prescriptions other than for my thyroid, and I pray I never do.
My advice to anyone starting out is #1 – you HAVE to LOVE YOURSELF and BELIEVE you DESERVE a healthier lifestyle. Change your image of “fit.” It is different for everyone, and that’s ok. “Fitness” does not have to mean killing yourself at the gym. You have to find an activity you love and do that starting out. When you tire of it or stall, find something else new to try, but never assume that sheer willpower will keep you going. Life happens; we have distractions, but believing that you DESERVE it and moving in the direction of things you enjoy will help you to create a habit so that you’ll feel “off” if you miss this time for yourself. In regards to nutrition, eat organic when you can, and eat whole foods you enjoy. Load up on a rainbow of fruits and vegetables with protein and healthy fats to feed your brain and keep you feeling satiated. Your amazing body was designed to process these foods, and they will keep it running like a well-oiled machine, and you’ll find your energy will improve without sugary, caffeinated drinks.
My body has flaws. My health is not perfect. But I work every day to take the best care of my mind and body that I can. Is it easy? Of course not. But the work required outweighs the consequences of NOT doing the work. I just continue to “show up.” I choose me. My Reason is…FOR ME so that I am better able to serve those I love.
